Travel Helped Me Grieve: Here's How
I would be lying if I said that when my mother passed away unexpectedly in 2019, my entire world didn’t shift. Years later, it never truly feels real, but I’ve explored coping with grief in several ways and travel happens to be one of the most effective. Traveling can indeed be a transformative experience if you let it.
My ultimate goal was always to travel as many places as I could, and when my mom died, I committed to the idea of taking a year off to travel. Unfortunately COVID-19 hit just three short months later, and I was forced to postpone my adventures until 2021. I hit the ground running in February of 2021, still very much overwhelmed by grief at times and looking for ways to heal and feel.
Always one to keep an open mind about trying new things and having already conquered the feat of being a first-time national and international solo traveler, I was eager to encounter different cultures, landscapes, and people. Traveling solo can make you come face to face with many different feelings and experiences, but the best thing you can do is lean into them. Here’s what I’ve learned:
1.Every new destination brings a sense of newness into your life.
Unfamiliar sights, sounds, and tastes automatically awaken your senses even at home but most especially when you travel. Opening yourself up to this sort of newness is a reminder that life continues to offer surprises and beauty even in the midst of pain.
When I travel, I often walk aimlessly along dirt roads and cobblestone streets, I roam into shops and restaurants with no preconceived notions, and I dip myself into unfamiliar bodies of water. I welcome conversation with strangers and fill my days with activities I would never have the opportunity to do at home.
Unfortunately, life goes on.
Fortunately, too, life goes on.
Embracing newness is the only way to find all the beauty out there with your name on it.
2. The world is vast and diverse, just like the human experience.
When you travel, especially solo, you encounter people from various backgrounds, each carrying their own stories of struggle and recovery. The more I travel, the more I become oddly more comfortable talking to strangers than sometimes talking to people I know personally. Taking time to truly listen to other people’s stories, I’ve found that even if another person hasn’t necessarily lost a mother, I’m not so alone in my grief for the simple fact that everyone has lost something.
The shared stories of loss and love are reminders that mourning is a universal language that transcends borders and connects souls. Being an observer of new places and lives other than your own is the time to realize just how much bigger everything is than you, even grief.
3.Acceptance is embracing the present moment.
Every time you travel, it’s an opportunity to embrace the present moment and cherish the good experiences that come your way. You’ve never been here before, and it’s in your best interest to absorb as much as you can while you’re here. Though you’re never really completely free of grief, you can shed layers of grief and find newness and acceptance along the way. Whether it’s witnessing a breathtaking sunset, tasting exotic cuisines, or engaging in meaningful and memorable conversations with locals, I live in the moment when I travel and allow myself to fully experience what is in front of me.
4. Liberation can only be found in your sense of self and identity.
In the process of traveling, you can find solace and discover a newfound sense of self and liberation. You can learn to embrace new iterations of yourself over and over again. You’re better able to define what you will and won’t do and what you do and don’t like.
Traveling is your opportunity to say yes and to say no. All of these convictions are what make you who you are, and there is a real possibility that as sure as you are today, you may feel totally different tomorrow, and that is okay. You get to say who, when, what, where, and why. Sense of self and identity are solely up to you.
5. Let grief become a part of you.
It is impossible to forget the memory of something or someone you’ve lost, especially if they were extremely close to you. Healing and growing through grief is not at all about erasing the pain or forgetting the past; it is very much about integrating the loss into your being, accepting it as a part of your story, and finding a way to move forward while honoring the memory of what was lost.
You are forever changed after losing someone, but you can learn to carry that with grace, allow it to transform you a person who is more compassionate and understanding, and even let it inspire you. Grief is as much a part of you as one of your limbs, and it is very much possible for it to coexist with joy.
Traveling through grief is a reminder that we have the power to embark on a journey of self-discovery and find healing as we interact with the richness of the world around us. One of the most beautiful parts of traveling is the opportunity to be a beginner— to embrace newness. Even in far-flung corners of the world, in different languages, in unfamiliar environments, you can connect through shared experiences, laughter, and heartfelt conversations. You can find a sense of belonging, something easily misplaced in the early stages of grief. Traveling is a lasting reminder that in your darkest moments, the world can be a source of light.